List of Things I Did Today Instead of Write:

• ​Moved my car for street sweeping
• Ate breakfast
• Washed almost all of my sink full of dishes
• Had a conversation with my vagina (Asked it to stop bleeding. It’s still bleeding.)
• Hung up my coat
• Made coffee
• Drank coffee
• Thought about walking to get better coffee
• Did 4 crossword puzzles (cheated on 3 out of 4)
• Showered
• Teared up in the shower thinking about an episode of “Queer Eye”
• Unsuccessfully hunted around my apartment for quarters to do laundry
• Looked up the lyrics to Uncle Kracker’s “Follow Me”
• Applied different shades of lipstick to choose my favorite (No plans to go out. Just wanted to know my #1.)
• Laid on my floor and stretched
• Laid on my floor and tried to meditate
• Laid on my floor and tried to connect with my spirit guides
• Feel asleep on my floor
• Made this list